Tags: orange county
SoCal Coyotes Know How to Party

Last week there were three "coyote incidents" in Southern California, all on children. While not nearly as fun or interesting as Shark incidents, nothing quite strikes fear in the hearts of square white Americans than the thought of feral beasts dragging their children out of their sandboxes. Well, maybe the thought of a black president is scarier to square white suburban Americans than a Coyote attack but this is not a political blog so we will leave that issue alone. Instead, let's explore the wonderful world of Coyotes!
COYOTE PARTIES!
There have been more than 100 reported attempted Coyote predations on people in Southern California since the 1970s, but this number seems to be rising every year. Half of these attempted predations were on children 10 and under. Why so many "incidents?" It is fairly simple: there are more shitty suburbs encroaching into coyote habitat. In the suburbs of San Bernardino, Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego suburbs are literally carved into former wilderness areas. Oftentimes, Coyotes will eat suburban pets like Dogs and Cats as they are the size and type of prey they would normally be after in the wild. The problem is, toddlers are fairly small too. Since the three Coyote parties last week involved very small children there are not so many pictures of them floating around the internet. So we have created our own pictorial we made in honor of the humble Coyote, the closest square white suburbans ever get to interacting with predators...outside of mortgage lenders, credit card companies...and um, the internet.
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