Please somebody pinch one of my claspers, I think I'm dreaming. For the second time in a week, a U.S. government organization moved to protect Sharks. First they make Shark finning operations harder to operate. Now this:

On July 24, new Shark fishing regulations go into effect. Two species in particular are being protected. The annual quota for Sandbar Sharks--a species prized by scumbags for their large fins--is lowered 85 percent. The annual quota for Porbeagle Sharks--a species prized by the French for their flesh--will be tightened even further, from 92 metric tons to 1.7.

Both these species of Sharks have suffered greatly in recent years from the insatiable Asian appetite for Shark fin soup. Now if the NOAA would only tighten quotas on Thresher, Mako, and Blue Sharks--the species most prized by decadent Shark fishing tournaments--us Sharks might have a fighting chance.

But just so this post isn't all environmental and educational, look a new picture of Bruce Grime's thumb. It was nearly bitten off by a Bull Shark in May. He was the one that actually survived Mexican Shark scare 2008 in Zihuatanejo.

Yuck! Clean your fingernails, Bruce!
[source]

Mmmmm....tight regulations,

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Sandbar Sharks, Porbeagle Sharks, Bull Sharks, Thresher Sharks, Mako Sharks, Blue Sharks, NOAA, Zihuatanejo, Mexico, Atlantic Ocean, Chinese Food, Shark Fin Soup

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The Melbourne Herald Sun is alleging that their is gangs of Bull Sharks "actively hunting humans" off Zihuantanejo, Mexico. The "theory" is that Bull Sharks have developed a taste for human flesh after getting used to eating human corpses dumped by the Mexican Mafia.

Jose Leonardo Castillo, chief shark investigator for Mexico’s National Fishing Institute, said yesterday: “One theory we’re investigating is that a group of sharks have developed a taste for humans.”

Source.

Maybe this is what is eating surfers off Zihuantanejo?

This is only slightly less plausible than the "gang of Bull Sharks theory."

We briefly considered giving this guy a Bushy, but it is just too silly...he gets nothing.

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Bull Sharks, Mexico, Zombies, Shark Attacks, Zihuantanejo, organized crime

Nice Rack!

Tom Stienstra of the San Francisco Chronicle doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

You may recognize him as the great white shark, but by any name, he's been creating havoc in Mexico in the past month. Three surfers have been attacked near Zihuantanejo, two fatally. The most recent attack was May 24 when an instructor got partially munched with a bite on the arm. Earlier in May, a surfer on vacation from San Francisco was killed.

Source.

WRONG! The Mexican "attacks" were likely Tiger or Bull Sharks. Everyone wants to blame every Shark bite on Great Whites because we are the sexiest and the Shark from all the movies, but we are often scapegoated. In reality, the most dangerous Shark in the sea is the Bull Shark. And frankly, I'm a bit offended that this Tom Stienstra is sexist enough to assign all Great Whites the pronoun "he." Not all of us are "he" asshole, some of us are indeed "she." The Bull Shark, male or female, has more testosterone in his or her system pound for pound than any other animal on earth, so if you must assign universal masculinity to any one Shark species, please consider the Bull Shark. Here watch this:

Word to the wise, I am not a he,

--Ms Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Bull Sharks, Great White Sharks, gender bias, Mexico, Zihuantanejo

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This is Jackson Shaw, he is a 19-year-old who is lucky enough to have parents that own a home off a canal in Palm Beach on Australia's Gold Coast. He caught what goldcoast.com.au calls a "monster." It was just a 5-foot Bull Shark, get over yourselves.

"Finally, I pulled it on to the jetty and got some photos but I thought it was going to get off because it was so agro. When I got it in, I was just in shock and Dad was gobsmacked. He had been hassling me the worst and he didn't really have much to say after that."

LOL WUT!

Jackson wanted to keep the Shark for a trophy but luckily his mother was a lot smarter than him and made him release it. Thanks Mom, but your son did not inheret your even-mindedness.

Here is one more picture of Saturday's lucky Shark Partier from Mexico--Bruce Grimes. He plans on going back in the water once his arm heals. I hope so as he owns a surf shop close to the party area. Oh, and he did lose this thumb after all. There is video here. He says it was a 9-foot Bull Shark. Told ya so, told ya so!

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Shark Attacks, Mexico, Australia, surfing, Bull Shark, Australia, Zihuatanejo, Shark Fishing, Gold Coast

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Hi, El Tiburon here. Since there were two Shark bites in Mexico last weekend and I am Mexican, I thought I'd weigh in. What you didn't hear that there were two awesome Shark parties in beaches close to Acapulco last weekend? Now you have.

This is what is left of 49-year-old American Bruce Grimes's hand. He was chomped on Saturday while surfing off Playa Linda Beach. The original report was that he lost his thumb, but this picture seems to reveal that his thumb is still there with the rest of his hand, held together with a hundred stitches.
Read.

This is a picture of Friday's unlucky partier--21-year-old Osvaldo Mata Valdovinos, who was was jammed to death while surfing near Zihuatanejo. Sharky originally said that it was probably a Tiger Shark that took off Osvaldo's hand and broke through the bone on one of his legs that caused him to bleed to death, but new reports say that the Shark was only 6-feet-long. Hmmmm...that might bring the Bull Shark--the usual suspect--into the front running.
Read.

One thing is sure. Unlike the response to the death of Adrian Ruiz in April, the Mexican authorities are taking a more moderate response to the Shark activity. There has yet to be another documented Shark holocaust. Of course American conservative bloggers that shall go unnamed because I don't want to help their google search results, are saying that it was only common sense to kill as many local Sharks as possible whenever there is a Shark incident. Less Sharks = Less Shark attacks, they argue. Under the same logic all Dogs should be slaughtered because they bite people all the time. If we turned this into a blog about Dog bites we would run out of server space in about two days. Oh well, it is easier to slaughter Sharks than it is to deal with the real problem--changing climate patterns that are fucking up the migratory patterns of the natural prey of Sharks and thus fucking up the migratory patterns of Sharks...oh, and the pesky issue of the tragic over-development of the coastline that is fucking up the breeding grounds of Bull Sharks, among other species, and forcing them into contact with people.

Murder! It is so much easier than using your brain.

--El Tiburon

technorati tags: Sharks, Shark Bites, Shark Attacks, Bull Sharks, Tiger Sharks, Mexico, Dogs, Dog Bites, Republicans, Conservatives, Google, blogging, surfing, Zihuatanejo

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Two Shark incidents in two days off Mexico's Pacific coast--one dead Mexican, one American with a missing thumb--reprisals are likely. This makes the third Shark jam in the same area in a month.

The first jam was the first Shark related fatality in Pacific Mexico in over thirty years. The truly tragic thing about this is that given the ignorance of the local authorities off these beaches, there will probably be another Mexican Shark holocaust.

Friday's jam was the jammiest. Osvaldo Mata Valdovinos, a 21-year-old student was surfing near Zihuatanejo when a Shark chomped off one of his hands and took to nice chunks of his thigh. He bled out of his severed hand and foot-long hole in his thigh before help could arrive.

Read.

Today's jam involved a 49-year-old American surfer. Information is a bit more sketchy on this one, but this surfer apparently got his thumb bitten off. He will recover. There is no information as to which species of Shark or Sharks were involved in these parties...still, we are going with Tiger Shark. A Tiger Shark has the kind of teeth that are good for severing things. Further proof that local Mexican authorities are chumps--they claim that the first fatal jam, the one in late April that spelled the end for Adrian Ruiz, involved a Grey Reef Shark. Grey Reef Shark my ass.

Read.

Watch out for the /b/ Grey Reef Shark!

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Mexico, Acapulco, Tiger Shark, Grey Reef Shark, Sea Lion, /b/