Nice Rack!

Tom Stienstra of the San Francisco Chronicle doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

You may recognize him as the great white shark, but by any name, he's been creating havoc in Mexico in the past month. Three surfers have been attacked near Zihuantanejo, two fatally. The most recent attack was May 24 when an instructor got partially munched with a bite on the arm. Earlier in May, a surfer on vacation from San Francisco was killed.

Source.

WRONG! The Mexican "attacks" were likely Tiger or Bull Sharks. Everyone wants to blame every Shark bite on Great Whites because we are the sexiest and the Shark from all the movies, but we are often scapegoated. In reality, the most dangerous Shark in the sea is the Bull Shark. And frankly, I'm a bit offended that this Tom Stienstra is sexist enough to assign all Great Whites the pronoun "he." Not all of us are "he" asshole, some of us are indeed "she." The Bull Shark, male or female, has more testosterone in his or her system pound for pound than any other animal on earth, so if you must assign universal masculinity to any one Shark species, please consider the Bull Shark. Here watch this:

Word to the wise, I am not a he,

--Ms Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Bull Sharks, Great White Sharks, gender bias, Mexico, Zihuantanejo

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Last week there were three "coyote incidents" in Southern California, all on children. While not nearly as fun or interesting as Shark incidents, nothing quite strikes fear in the hearts of square white Americans than the thought of feral beasts dragging their children out of their sandboxes. Well, maybe the thought of a black president is scarier to square white suburban Americans than a Coyote attack but this is not a political blog so we will leave that issue alone. Instead, let's explore the wonderful world of Coyotes!

COYOTE PARTIES!
There have been more than 100 reported attempted Coyote predations on people in Southern California since the 1970s, but this number seems to be rising every year. Half of these attempted predations were on children 10 and under. Why so many "incidents?" It is fairly simple: there are more shitty suburbs encroaching into coyote habitat. In the suburbs of San Bernardino, Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego suburbs are literally carved into former wilderness areas. Oftentimes, Coyotes will eat suburban pets like Dogs and Cats as they are the size and type of prey they would normally be after in the wild. The problem is, toddlers are fairly small too. Since the three Coyote parties last week involved very small children there are not so many pictures of them floating around the internet. So we have created our own pictorial we made in honor of the humble Coyote, the closest square white suburbans ever get to interacting with predators...outside of mortgage lenders, credit card companies...and um, the internet.

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Just in time for Mother's Day...

It looks like Jason Cull, the 37-year-old Shark partier from Albany, Western Australia is going to make it, thanks to a well-timed finger poke and the quick swimming of surf club volunteer Joanne Lucas, a mother of three, who swam out to rescue him from our friend the Great White Shark. Jason Cull underwent five hours of surgery to repair the mess of his leg. Joanne Lucas does not want to be called a hero.

To recap:

Joanne Lucas--hero

Unnamed "sport" fisher"man"--not a hero

Read.

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Great White Sharks, Australia, Albany, Western Australia, Shark Fishing, Sport Fishing, Health Care