There have been two well publicized giant Great White sightings over the past week, one in Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts and another in a lake north of Sydney, Australia--unfortunately they were both just the ravings of two crude, old, and probably drunken men.

On Thursday morning, 60-year-old Michael Lopenzo reported seeing two 22-foot-long Great White sharks lurking off Martha's Vineyard--the same beach that Spielberg shot Jaws. Predictably, this caused quite the panic. Michael Lopenzo, was arrested this morning for disturbing the peace because he was so full of shit. Allegedly, Lopenzo told police that he spotted the Sharks from a fishing boat named Alicia Li which was owned John Kennedy. There is no such boat, and lying about John Kennedy in Martha's Vineyard is a sure fire way to take a wicked pissah of an ass kicking. Lopenzo also gave his address at a homeless shelter.
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This story is even worse: On Wednesday, a fisherman reported catching a 21-foot Great White in a net. He said he cut it loose because his boat was only 18 feet long. The funny thing about this fish story is that the Shark was supposedly sighted in Tuggerah Lake, which is a small brackish water lagoon, with a very small ocean access. Police have declined to identify the fisherman because he is very old and weird and has a natural distrust of the media. It is also probably because he is full of shit. In all likelihood, he caught a Bull Shark in his net, if anything at all, because Bull Sharks regularly wander into brackish and fresh water. Bull Sharks very rarely get longer than 10 feet though.
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Summer just seems to be full of fish tales and bad Shark craziness. When will it end?

Never we hope.

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Great White Shark, fish tales, Australia, John Kennedy, Martha's Vineyard, Bull Sharks, Tuggerah Lake

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Jared Ingersoll, top chef of Dank Street Depot in Syndey believes that Shark Fin Soup and other Shark fin dishes should be banned in Australia, Shark finning should be criminalized, and the importation of Shark fins from other countries should be stopped, because it is all driving Sharks to extinction.

While Shark finning is technically illegal in Australia, Australia imports 10,000kg of dried shark fins every year from countries that have not banned finning, including China and The Philippines. This translates into 26,000 dead Sharks. Shark populations have dropped 90 percent in the past 30 years due to Asia's new affluence and an insatiable appetite for Shark fin.

If you don't believe me click here and watch the video.

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Top+Chef, Shark Finning, Shark Fin Soup, Australia, Sydney, Jared Ingersoll

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This is Jackson Shaw, he is a 19-year-old who is lucky enough to have parents that own a home off a canal in Palm Beach on Australia's Gold Coast. He caught what goldcoast.com.au calls a "monster." It was just a 5-foot Bull Shark, get over yourselves.

"Finally, I pulled it on to the jetty and got some photos but I thought it was going to get off because it was so agro. When I got it in, I was just in shock and Dad was gobsmacked. He had been hassling me the worst and he didn't really have much to say after that."

LOL WUT!

Jackson wanted to keep the Shark for a trophy but luckily his mother was a lot smarter than him and made him release it. Thanks Mom, but your son did not inheret your even-mindedness.

Here is one more picture of Saturday's lucky Shark Partier from Mexico--Bruce Grimes. He plans on going back in the water once his arm heals. I hope so as he owns a surf shop close to the party area. Oh, and he did lose this thumb after all. There is video here. He says it was a 9-foot Bull Shark. Told ya so, told ya so!

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Shark Attacks, Mexico, Australia, surfing, Bull Shark, Australia, Zihuatanejo, Shark Fishing, Gold Coast

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Paul van Bruggen took this shot of a 7-to-8-foot Saltwater Crocodile jamming down hard on what looks to be a Bull Shark on the banks of the Daly River in Australia's Northern Territory. Yeah, yeah, that Bull Shark is probably 4 feet long. Let's see Salty tangle with a 20-foot Great White.

Read.

Northern Territory? Wow, what a creative name for a province!

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Bull Sharks, Crocodiles, Australia, Northern Territory

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It looks like 37-year-old Great White Shark jamee Jason Cull is going to make it.

Jason Cull is lucky that he is Australian. Under George Bush's health care policy that leg brace would have cost an uninsured American $132,000.

Mark Bickerdike was at Middleton Beach in Western Australia that morning with his camera. He thought he was taking a picture of a Dolphin, but what he really shot was Joanne Lucas saving Jason Cull's ass.

Swim Faster!

Read.

Reports claim that there were up to three large Great Whites patrolling Middleton Beach all day.

I was not one of them,

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Great White Sharks, Australia, Perth, health care, George Bush, Republicans

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Just in time for Mother's Day...

It looks like Jason Cull, the 37-year-old Shark partier from Albany, Western Australia is going to make it, thanks to a well-timed finger poke and the quick swimming of surf club volunteer Joanne Lucas, a mother of three, who swam out to rescue him from our friend the Great White Shark. Jason Cull underwent five hours of surgery to repair the mess of his leg. Joanne Lucas does not want to be called a hero.

To recap:

Joanne Lucas--hero

Unnamed "sport" fisher"man"--not a hero

Read.

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Great White Sharks, Australia, Albany, Western Australia, Shark Fishing, Sport Fishing, Health Care