There have been two well publicized giant Great White sightings over the past week, one in Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts and another in a lake north of Sydney, Australia--unfortunately they were both just the ravings of two crude, old, and probably drunken men.

On Thursday morning, 60-year-old Michael Lopenzo reported seeing two 22-foot-long Great White sharks lurking off Martha's Vineyard--the same beach that Spielberg shot Jaws. Predictably, this caused quite the panic. Michael Lopenzo, was arrested this morning for disturbing the peace because he was so full of shit. Allegedly, Lopenzo told police that he spotted the Sharks from a fishing boat named Alicia Li which was owned John Kennedy. There is no such boat, and lying about John Kennedy in Martha's Vineyard is a sure fire way to take a wicked pissah of an ass kicking. Lopenzo also gave his address at a homeless shelter.
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This story is even worse: On Wednesday, a fisherman reported catching a 21-foot Great White in a net. He said he cut it loose because his boat was only 18 feet long. The funny thing about this fish story is that the Shark was supposedly sighted in Tuggerah Lake, which is a small brackish water lagoon, with a very small ocean access. Police have declined to identify the fisherman because he is very old and weird and has a natural distrust of the media. It is also probably because he is full of shit. In all likelihood, he caught a Bull Shark in his net, if anything at all, because Bull Sharks regularly wander into brackish and fresh water. Bull Sharks very rarely get longer than 10 feet though.
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Summer just seems to be full of fish tales and bad Shark craziness. When will it end?

Never we hope.

--Sharky

technorati tags: Sharks, Great White Shark, fish tales, Australia, John Kennedy, Martha's Vineyard, Bull Sharks, Tuggerah Lake

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