Moe, the 42-year-old Chimpanzee escaped from his cage last Friday at Jungle Exotics, a prison for Celebrity Chimps in San Bernadino County, California. It is believed that he is lost somewhere in the San Bernardino National Forest. Moe's official owners, St. James and LaDonna Davis are heartsick over the loss of Moe. St, James brought Moe back from Tanzania in 1967 after Moe's mother was murdered by poachers. They raised Moe like their own son, toilet training him, getting him addicted to chocolate milk and television, teaching him to eat with a knife and fork, and letting him sleep with them in their bed. Moe was even best man at their wedding. West Covina authorities didn't like the idea of a suburban Chimp and had been trying to have Moe removed for years. In 1999 Moe mauled a police officer's hand and later in the the year Moe bit off a woman's finger because he "mistook her red fingernail for licorice"--OOPS!

The Davises were forced to house Moe in an animal sanctuary. In 2005 they paid Moe a visit on his birthday with a cake. Apparently two other Chimps became jealous about the cake and attacked St. James and LaDonna. LaDonna got off easy, she only lost a thumb. St. James lost his dick and balls, a foot, most of his fingers, chunks of his ass, an eye, and his nose.

Another Cocaine Casualty.

Read.

If you are camping in the San Berardino National Forest be on the look out for Moe...and bring licorice.

While we can't really endorse the housepetification of wildlife, we admire the Davis's commitment to Moe. Most people don't even have that kind of commitment to their own children. We hope Moe is safe in the overdeveloped "wilds" of Southern California.

--Ms Sharky

technorati tags: Chimpanzees, San Bernardino, West Covina, Chimp Attack

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