The people of Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts--a town on Martha's Vineyard--have fallen victim to the Japanese Disease. Last week, the voters of Oak Bluffs voted 458 to 386 in favor of holding the Oak Bluffs Monster Shark Fishing Tournament again this year. Why, you may ask, did so many of them vote in favor of an even that has brought negative attention to the town? Was it that the tournament brings in tourist dollars? Nah. It is because the people of Oak Bluffs, like Japan and its whalers, don't like being told what to do by us outsiders. They voted in favor of the tournament because we told them not to. What a spoiled bunch of children. This begs the question--what is is about islanders that makes them distrust mainlanders so much? Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown...I mean Japan...I mean Oak Bluffs.

Sharks--the movie Jaws in particular--and the Kennedy's, made Martha's Vineyard what it is today. You would think they would respect sharks a bit more than calling them monsters, dragging them up on a dock, and killing them to prove how masculine the Great White Hunters are. The friggin' Vineyard even uses Jaws to promote itself:

Martha's Vineyard: Not Safe for Sharks

I don't really condone any shark fishing tournaments, but Oak Bluffs could at least compromise with the Humane Society and other animal welfare groups and make the 2007 Monster Shark Tournament a no-kill "catch and release" event.

ESPN usually covers the Monster Shark Tournament. ESPN is now also covering the Quiznos Mad Fin event in Florida, which is a no-kill event. Some of ESPN's coverage even promotes the non-kill aspect of the Mad Fin, citing responsible fishing in the wake of shark-finning and the global depletion of shark populations.

PLEASE ESPN, DO NOT COVER THE 2007 OAK BLUFFS MONSTER SHARK TOURNAMENT. By your own coverage of the Quiznos Mad Fin Tournament, killing threatened species of sharks for sport is not an acceptable practice. The only reason you should cover the 2007 Oak Bluffs event is on the condition that it is a no-kill "catch and release" tournament.

Concerned readers may contact ESPN HERE.

You're all gonna need a bigger boat, trust me,

--Sharky

technorati tags: sharks, shark fishing, fishing tournaments, fishing, ESPN, Quiznos, Oak Bluffs, Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts, Humane Society, Threatened Species, Oak Bluffs Monster Shark Tournament, Jaws, Faye Dunaway, Chinatown, Kennedy, Japan